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 Story by Bontee, Ch.1 so far 7/21/2013

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Bontee
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Bontee

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Rank: Civilian
Level: LvL 0
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PostSubject: Story by Bontee, Ch.1 so far 7/21/2013   Story by Bontee, Ch.1 so far 7/21/2013 I_icon_minitimeMon Jul 15, 2013 6:21 am

A story I'm working on... everything here is (UPDATE AS OF CH. 1, it is still) unedited so... expect mistakes/errors. I'll add more in as I get it done. What do you think?

EDIT: CH. 1 was written at 5AM while I was tired, if it makes no sense at points, that is why.

Prologue:
 

Ch. 1:
 

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Bontee
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Bontee

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PostSubject: Re: Story by Bontee, Ch.1 so far 7/21/2013   Story by Bontee, Ch.1 so far 7/21/2013 I_icon_minitimeMon Jul 22, 2013 12:23 am

Updated! Added Chapter 1, though I wrote it while I was tired (at 5:00AM). If theres something that doesn't make sense, that may be why... Please tell my if I need to elaborate or better describe something.

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Renny™
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Rank: Civilian
Level: LvL 0
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PostSubject: Re: Story by Bontee, Ch.1 so far 7/21/2013   Story by Bontee, Ch.1 so far 7/21/2013 I_icon_minitimeThu Jul 25, 2013 4:56 pm

To me, all of that story made sense. And I must say: It was fantastic! Very good descriptions of the particularly gory parts, great vocabulary, and leaving it on a cliffhanger like that makes me long for more on what happened to that woman with the shotgun. Amazing work my friend, well done! +rep for you. Very Happy
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Bontee
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Bontee

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PostSubject: Re: Story by Bontee, Ch.1 so far 7/21/2013   Story by Bontee, Ch.1 so far 7/21/2013 I_icon_minitimeThu Jul 25, 2013 5:07 pm

Thanks! I work on it in my spare time, usually late. Pasting it from open office to here destroyed the paragraphing and such so it may be a bit hard to read (and a bit long) but I'm still workin' on it. Glad to know you liked it!

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Encore
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PostSubject: Re: Story by Bontee, Ch.1 so far 7/21/2013   Story by Bontee, Ch.1 so far 7/21/2013 I_icon_minitimeThu Jul 25, 2013 5:16 pm

I am sorry, I can not read it, my head fucks up if it is not properly paragraphed.

It seems nice.

I am jealous.

I can not write as fast.

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Bontee
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Bontee

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Level: LvL 0
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PostSubject: Re: Story by Bontee, Ch.1 so far 7/21/2013   Story by Bontee, Ch.1 so far 7/21/2013 I_icon_minitimeThu Jul 25, 2013 5:38 pm

Fast??? The first chapter took like 3 hours to write!

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